Just read this interesting article in The Guardian about mental health patients getting a better deal in the NHS, which is a great positive move forward. Being able to have more of a say in our treatment when suffering from depression etc is such a healthy move. I have had some really bad experiences with the NHS and trying to get treatment that I think is suitable for my condition. Things are much better these days, I’m currently getting CBT at First Steps through a referral from my GP which is great, although I am starting to panic a little as I only get 6-8 sessions and my next one will be number 6 (more of that soon I think), but on the whole we’re heading in the right direction.
This current bad bout of depression, as opposed to the low level depression that had become so ingrained in my day to day life as to feel normal, made me go and seek treatment from the NHS for the first time in over 10 years. I just woke up one morning about 4 months ago feeling so miserable and unable to carry on that I picked up the phone and made an appointment. I really needed to stop feeling this way, feeling like something really bad was going to happen, feeling worthless and the levels of anger and self loathing getting uncontrollable.
I was really lucky to be able to see a doctor in a few days, phoned on Friday got in Tuesday, which isn’t always the case as at my practice you need to be up early to catch appointments or they get booked up so you need to phone again the next day – if you suffer from social anxiety and have a phobia about phones you can imagine how hard this process can be if you have to deal with it. So was glad it went smooth this time.
The GP I saw was new to me but she was kind and took me seriously and talked to me about my depression and anxiety. We decided on a course of 50mg of sertraline and I said I’d made a decision to go back to MIND for therapy so we held off a referral to First Steps for the time being. She also examined me for the bad back I’d had for 3 years or so which was contributing to my depression but I was at a point of needing to get it all sorted…..I got a referral for physio, but was good to know it wasn’t anything major, a lot of it to do with my ballooning weight from binge eating and sugar addiction.
It really did make such a difference being taken seriously and with kindness, I walked out of he consultation room near to tears as I’d felt that it was such a great break through. The previous visit to a GP at the same practice had been a disaster – and meant I didn’t go to a doctor about my condition for 10 years – thankfully MIND in Barrow had been there for me then where I got therapy from an amazing guy called Ken. The GP had been very dismissive of mental health problems and didn’t seem to believe in depression. I asked to be referred to see the pychi nurse – this was before such great services were in place like first steps – after 8 weeks of waiting I was turned down as my condition wasn’t severe enough to warrant a visit, I would need to be self harming or suicidal. I asked about a local men’s group but was told she didn’t live locally and had no idea. This experience was so hard to have to deal with that I’m not sure where I’d have ended up if I hadn’t been recommended MIND.
I’ll talk about this all in more detail soon I’m sure, just that reading the article brought back some memories of trying to battle through treatment plans when not really being strong enough to do it, so it really does feel like a massive step forward for this to happen. We need to feel in control of our treatment, that we can take charge and be treated with respect and listened to.